The thought of doing any of those things sickens you now. You feel like any of those things would be a violation. The type where you hang out in a small cabin in the middle of the mountains and never talk to anybody.You briefly try to become a therapist, but it turns out that actually knowing everything about your client’s mind is horrendously countertherapeutic. The only living thing you encounter is the occasional bear.A lot of people seem kind of creeped out by a scrawny guy with no muscles going up to every woman he sees and boasting of his BRUTE STRENGTH, but the Internet tells you that is because they are BETA CUCKOLD ORBITERS. Not wanting to end up on an autopsy table in Roswell, you explain that you’re a perfectly ordinary master hacker.Somebody told you once that Internet sites are sometimes inaccurate. How could you figure out which are the inaccurate ones using BRUTE STRENGTH? The government offers you a plea bargain: they’ll drop charges if you help the military with cyber-security.You will explore the wonders of the ocean depths within the body of an invincible killing machine. You visit the Amazon Rainforest, the Sahara Desert, and the South Pole. You wonder how the Curiosity Rover lasted so long without dying of boredom. You bounce from industry to industry, usually doing jobs for the people at the top whose jobs are so important that the need to get them done right overrides their desire to avoid contact with you.Well, long story short, it is totally unfair that colossal cannibal great white sharks were a thing and if you had known this was the way Nature worked you never would have gone along with this green pill business. It takes about a week before you’ve exhausted all of the interesting tourist sites. One year you get an offer you can’t refuse from the King of Saudi Arabia.Freud can say whatever he wants against defense mechanisms, but without them, you’re defenseless. It always thinks that it is a good bear, a proper bear, that a bear-hating world has it out for them in particular. Green The first thing you do after taking the green pill is become a sparrow.Your sessions are spent in incisive cutting into your clients’ deepest insecurities alternating with desperate reassurance that they are good people anyway. You knew, in a vague way, that men thought about sex all the time. But you realize that if you were as horny as they were all the time, you’d do much the same. You soar across the landscape, feeling truly free for the first time in your life.
It just sort of happened when your demonstration of how rebels in the military might launch a coup went better than you expected. But this fails to translate into lucrative endorsement contracts.
Sometimes you forget how incompetent everybody else is. Nobody wants their spokesman to be a bodybuilder without a sixpack, and although you used to be pretty buff, you’re getting scrawnier by the day.
Your personal trainer tells you that you only maintain muscle mass by doing difficult work at the limit of your ability, but your abilities don’t seem to have any limits. I don’t know what came over me.” Then he walks off. “But don’t touch me.” He seems a little put out by this latter request, but the heat of his passion is so strong he would do anything you ask.
Everything is so easy for you that your body just shrugs it off effortlessly. You wish you had thought further before accepting a superpower that makes people love you when you touch them, but goes away after you touch them a second time. You move in together and are married a few contact-free months later.
Somehow your BRUTE STRENGTH failed to anticipate this possibility. The sites you get don’t seem to bear on your specific problem, exactly, but they are VERY FASCINATING. Having people love you is a lot less sexy when you can’t touch them. They’ll just stop liking you when you touch them a second time. I’m the strongest person in the world.” He lifts your table over his head with one hand to demonstrate. Every so often you wonder what it would be like to stroke him, or feel his scrawny arm on your shoulder. You’re happy to just hang out, basking in how STRONG and ALPHA he is. That’s what’s important and valuable in this twenty-first-century economy, right? For example, ever since you took the grey pill, an increasingly large share of national GDP has come from ATMs giving you cash because you ask them to.