“It was the elephant in the room.” After a string of failed relationships, Madison says she was afraid she might never find “the one.” “I wondered, ‘Is this because I spent my 20s at the Mansion?
’ I worried I missed my chance because I was there the whole time.” Continues Madison: “I got to a point where I was trying to adjust my mindset and think, ‘Okay, am I going to be happy without that picture of marriage and family?
The two welcomed their second child, son Forest, last August., Madison detailed all the highs and lows of living in the Playboy Mansion. So we're witnessing some revenge here.""How could [Holly] want kids and [to] get married to him and then, next thing you know, say these types of things about Hef? "And I think it's interesting because people will ask me all the time, 'Do you still talk to him?
She claims she was subjected to a myriad of house rules, and was verbally and emotionally abused by Hefner, which led to depression and thoughts of suicide. For so many years I tried so hard to be a good girlfriend, and I cared about him and always had his back."Summer 2015: Wilkinson furious with Madison's memoir After Madison wrote in her tell-all that Wilkinson was "the fakest person I've ever met," a feud between the girls quickly started brewing. ' Usually when people move on, they don't talk to all their exes.
PHOTOS: Pamela Anderson's Playboy covers After she declined the drugs, “Hef did not miss a beat: ‘Okay, that’s good,’ he said, nonchalantly.
1 Girl," made it clear from the beginning that her heart only belonged to Hefner.Madison also claims that Hefner was a "manipulator" and "pitted" many of the Bunnies against each other."If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over," she wrote in her tell-all, recalling a suicidal moment she had in the bathtub. I put the folder back on the bed just as I had found it and never breathed a word of it."June 2015: Hefner denies Madison's allegations Following the release of the book, Hefner exclusively told ET that Madison "decided to rewrite history in an attempt to stay in the spotlight."But Madison quickly fired back, telling ET, "It wasn't about having an ax to grind or wanting to get a reaction from him, or, you know, inviting him back into my life in any way.”"I don't really care about his response," she continued. Wilkinson responded by claiming the entire memoir was a lie."Holly, you can tell, had this ulterior motive every minute being at the Mansion, and that motive was – it was clear as day – she wanted Hef's kids, she wanted a piece of at the time. I just don't think it's appropriate.""Of course I have fond memories of my time there, but, you know, you move on.. "I would say my best memory of the time at the Mansion was shooting the TV show."Drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading."Madison also claimed that Hefner tried to bribe her from moving out of the Mansion by writing her into his will as one last desperate tactic to save their relationship."It was there, in black and white," she wrote. "I wanted to share my story to inspire other women who might be in a bad relationship to get out, or not be branded by bad decisions they've made, and take charge of their lives and move on. It provided us with a lot of opportunities and we got to travel because of it, try new things.In multiple interviews, Madison stated that she wanted to tie the knot with the May 2008: Hefner breaks Madison's heart, explains why she'll never be his wife At a Playmate of the Year luncheon held at the Playboy Mansion, Madison told reporters that she and Hefner were "no closer to getting married than we were years ago" and that their relationship was like "a car stalled at the side of the road."Hefner chimed in, saying, "I love Holly very much and I think we're going to be together the rest of my life, but marriage isn't part of my puzzle.It's not a personal thing; I just haven't had much luck with marriages." reported at the time that Madison "sadly turned away" while Hefner spoke. It's just weird how someone can get away with such a thing."Summer 2016: The feud continues Nearly a year after the release of Madison's tell-all, Wilkinson said in an interview with Sirius XM satellite radio's with Evan Cohen and Mike Babchik that she was still on Hefner's side."I'm protecting [Hugh Hefner], I'm protecting myself, I'm protecting the things that actually made us famous," she explained.