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And do I really want any more children, considering how a baby could impact on my children's world, which has already been turned upside down?If the complexity of my situation put doubts in my own mind, no wonder it was ringing alarm bells among the women I was chatting with online.

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I particularly grew tired of the phrase "no baggage, please" on dating profiles. Hardly the stuff of romantic courtship, but nettles that needed to be grasped.However, the difficulties of online dating in my situation were apparent very quickly: marital status is very prominent on the sites.Initially, I put "prefer not to say" and wondered why I got very little response.I'm 39, and like many younger bereaved people, I've had to get used to a word I never thought would apply to me: widower.I discovered quite quickly that I hated the word, as it emphasised what I've lost.

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