If my spouse no longer cares the affair won’t mean anything to him/her.This is mystical thinking because unless questioned the adulterer has no idea how their spouse will react to them cheating.I think it is safe to say that society views a person who is faithful to his/her spouse as ethical and virtuous.In other words, if you commit adultery you are not a good person. In the throes of passion and emotional need, you may not put much value on how society judges you.Until there is a divorce you are still living inside the marital contract and that means upholding the vow to be faithful.There is more to consider than your own emotional well-being. Sure, as individuals we are free to define ethical behavior on our own terms.Reality: When a spouse is cheated on there are feelings of betrayal, depression, and anger. He/she will question their worth and value as a husband or wife.
So much so that it makes surviving adultery close to impossible.
If there is no longer love there is no longer a “promise.” The adulterer has divorced himself/herself emotionally from the marriage.
In the mind of the adulterer, this frees him/her up from any vows of faithfulness.
The adulterer lives in a mythical, storybook world.
The realities of their actions are far different than the “reality” they create to justify the adultery.